An architect first draws up a plan before ever starting to build a house. The engineer designs the car before the actual construction. Right?
So virtually any worthwhile achievement must have a plan even if sketchy at first. The purpose of the guide is to show you the way so you don’t blindly thrash around making mistakes and making no progress generally.
If you earnestly seek to reach the pinnacle of your career then you will be aiding your cause with a sound career development plan.
It doesn’t matter whether you are still unemployed now. It is even better to have a career plan once you get out of school. The plan shows where you want to be 3, 5, 10 and 20 years later. What targets are you setting for yourself? Are you aiming to head a telecom firm or are you content with achieving the position of a middle level manager in a public service parastatal. It helps to have an end aim.
That Jim Ovia rose from a low starting position in Zenith Bank to become the CEO in about a decade was not by chance. He wouldn’t have been there if he didn’t want to and plan to be there. People who rise to positions of Directors in public service do not just get there. They had their ambitions and they worked towards it.
Determine today the height you want to attain in your career and begin each day to learn or do something that takes you closer to your goal
Monday, March 28, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
YOU ATTRACT THE THINGS YOU GIVE A GREAT DEAL OF THOUGHT TO.
This is one day you don't want to forget at all. Talking about what I wrote up there in the subject line I want you to please read it again, it says YOU ATTRACT THE THINGS YOU GIVE A GREAT DEAL OF THOUGHT TO.
If this is true like I know it then telling you that this is one of the secrets to success should make you begin to change your thoughts right? If you begin today to think of only what you want you will get more of it , the ultimate goal is for you to achieve what you want and in this case wealth, so what you now do for me if not for yourself is to be thinking about what you want and not what you don't want.
So if you give a great deal of thought to lack, you attract lack, if you give a great deal of thought to injustice, you attract more injustice.
I want you to be successful. In my years of experience of wealth creation I have come to realize that I achieve only what I think about, and what I am thinking of now as I write is that you become successful, so follow me and think the same and you will surely become successful.
I have always thought of being successful even when I did not have any money, I have always seen myself at the back of a chauffeur driven limousine and that is true , all these thoughts are beginning to take shape in my life because I follow the rules one of which is to think of only what I want. You see many people don't know it but because they have financial problems they stick to thinking about the problems and truly speaking what they are attracting is more of financial problems. Live above your problems whether financial or health or anything else. Even in the midst of lack think wealth, it is difficult but affirming it to yourself will help you a lot.
People tend to think of their problems all the time, and I leave you with one word right now, think of SUCCESS ,see you soon
If this is true like I know it then telling you that this is one of the secrets to success should make you begin to change your thoughts right? If you begin today to think of only what you want you will get more of it , the ultimate goal is for you to achieve what you want and in this case wealth, so what you now do for me if not for yourself is to be thinking about what you want and not what you don't want.
So if you give a great deal of thought to lack, you attract lack, if you give a great deal of thought to injustice, you attract more injustice.
I want you to be successful. In my years of experience of wealth creation I have come to realize that I achieve only what I think about, and what I am thinking of now as I write is that you become successful, so follow me and think the same and you will surely become successful.
I have always thought of being successful even when I did not have any money, I have always seen myself at the back of a chauffeur driven limousine and that is true , all these thoughts are beginning to take shape in my life because I follow the rules one of which is to think of only what I want. You see many people don't know it but because they have financial problems they stick to thinking about the problems and truly speaking what they are attracting is more of financial problems. Live above your problems whether financial or health or anything else. Even in the midst of lack think wealth, it is difficult but affirming it to yourself will help you a lot.
People tend to think of their problems all the time, and I leave you with one word right now, think of SUCCESS ,see you soon
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Leadership Strategies
Think back to school days. Were you in the "in crowd" or an outsider?
Remember ball tossing in the school playground? Were you ever the one who stood there like a dork as the ball was passed from hand to hand, yet never yours? Or were you the leader of the pack who, without saying a word, had everyone in sync and decided who would or would not be left out?
Certainly that is a far cry from being an entrepreneur and managing people constructively in your adult life. Or is it so far away from the way you treat employees and customers? Sure, we all have our favorites. The question is - does everyone have to know who they are? Are they the ones who always catch the ball? And what happens when you leave out those who may be shy or reticent to play the way you think they should?
Of course, there is the final option to fire the less spectacular players. Yet, the cost of replacement is huge in ramp up time and lost productivity. Maybe the newest research in neuroscience can help you find a better way to help employees who need to be part of the ball throwing and catching game at work.
Did you now your brain is like radar? It wants friends. You want friends. You and your brain want to be in the "in crowd." Why? It feels better!
Naomi Eisenberger, a brain researcher at the University of California at Los Angeles has shown through some ball throwing exercises that those who are excluded show activity in the region of the brain that indicates pain involvement. Being excluded causes pain.
Anyone who has been in that unpleasant situation knows that is the case. No, it may not be the kind of pain that you would scream an "OMG, that hurts" about. It is more like a feeling of suffering and anguish.
Now this type of research is showing that the human brain is a social organ and is profoundly shaped by social interaction. As a leader and business owner, this is vital information that can give you clues as to why there is so much upset about being excluded. IT HURTS!
Teach your employees about the brain in a clear and simple way, or just give them a copy of this article. It is your responsibility as a leader to train all your employees in best practices. Inclusion rather than exclusion is a must. Here is what to do:
Always make sure that those who need to be at a meeting are invited on the same email with date, time and place clearly stated. Make sure they are asked to respond with a response date in a clear place. If they do not either you or someone you appoint needs to find out why they have not let you know about the meeting.
Have information available to hand out to all participants and better yet, if not too unwieldy, have their names printed on the info packets when they come in
Make sure everyone participates in the meeting. If someone is quiet, ask them an open ended question as a way to bring them into the team. Don't let anyone just sit and not speak. Make that a rule at all meetings.
The best way to keep continued inclusion is to start each meeting with a process we call "Getting Current".
In our Total Leadership Connections program, we practice this process to get it perfect. Those who have taken it back to their work settings wonder how they ever led a meeting without it.
It takes but a few minutes and is a full proof way to have all hands on deck for the rest of the meeting. Have each person simply offer a few sentences about where they are in life. No long treatise, merely something along the lines of having seen a good movie, or enjoying the success or sadness of a favorite sports team winning or losing. It could be about a kid home with a cold or a relative coming to stay. It is not so much about the specifics of what is said, it is more about creating an environment of inclusion. Remember, the more you include your employees, the less chance there is for that awful feeling of being the one who never gets the ball tossed to them, feeling excluded and then spending time stuffing down the pain, sucking it up and not being in the loop of creative and productive thinking.
Remember ball tossing in the school playground? Were you ever the one who stood there like a dork as the ball was passed from hand to hand, yet never yours? Or were you the leader of the pack who, without saying a word, had everyone in sync and decided who would or would not be left out?
Certainly that is a far cry from being an entrepreneur and managing people constructively in your adult life. Or is it so far away from the way you treat employees and customers? Sure, we all have our favorites. The question is - does everyone have to know who they are? Are they the ones who always catch the ball? And what happens when you leave out those who may be shy or reticent to play the way you think they should?
Of course, there is the final option to fire the less spectacular players. Yet, the cost of replacement is huge in ramp up time and lost productivity. Maybe the newest research in neuroscience can help you find a better way to help employees who need to be part of the ball throwing and catching game at work.
Did you now your brain is like radar? It wants friends. You want friends. You and your brain want to be in the "in crowd." Why? It feels better!
Naomi Eisenberger, a brain researcher at the University of California at Los Angeles has shown through some ball throwing exercises that those who are excluded show activity in the region of the brain that indicates pain involvement. Being excluded causes pain.
Anyone who has been in that unpleasant situation knows that is the case. No, it may not be the kind of pain that you would scream an "OMG, that hurts" about. It is more like a feeling of suffering and anguish.
Now this type of research is showing that the human brain is a social organ and is profoundly shaped by social interaction. As a leader and business owner, this is vital information that can give you clues as to why there is so much upset about being excluded. IT HURTS!
Teach your employees about the brain in a clear and simple way, or just give them a copy of this article. It is your responsibility as a leader to train all your employees in best practices. Inclusion rather than exclusion is a must. Here is what to do:
Always make sure that those who need to be at a meeting are invited on the same email with date, time and place clearly stated. Make sure they are asked to respond with a response date in a clear place. If they do not either you or someone you appoint needs to find out why they have not let you know about the meeting.
Have information available to hand out to all participants and better yet, if not too unwieldy, have their names printed on the info packets when they come in
Make sure everyone participates in the meeting. If someone is quiet, ask them an open ended question as a way to bring them into the team. Don't let anyone just sit and not speak. Make that a rule at all meetings.
The best way to keep continued inclusion is to start each meeting with a process we call "Getting Current".
In our Total Leadership Connections program, we practice this process to get it perfect. Those who have taken it back to their work settings wonder how they ever led a meeting without it.
It takes but a few minutes and is a full proof way to have all hands on deck for the rest of the meeting. Have each person simply offer a few sentences about where they are in life. No long treatise, merely something along the lines of having seen a good movie, or enjoying the success or sadness of a favorite sports team winning or losing. It could be about a kid home with a cold or a relative coming to stay. It is not so much about the specifics of what is said, it is more about creating an environment of inclusion. Remember, the more you include your employees, the less chance there is for that awful feeling of being the one who never gets the ball tossed to them, feeling excluded and then spending time stuffing down the pain, sucking it up and not being in the loop of creative and productive thinking.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Wealth Creation
Most people are interested in creating wealth, for some it is a dream that will never be fulfilled, for others it is a way of life.
Wouldn't it be great to never have to worry about money again, to know that your efforts have produced enough income to cover any unseen emergencies, to have holidays whenever you wanted, and to be financially save safe in your retirement, this is what we all strive for both if we are employed or if we are self employed.
However even if we are fortunate to be able to create wealth during our lifetime we do not necessarily have the knowledge to be able to keep it. There are many scams on the Internet that promise to create wealth and make you millions, when they are just that - scams to relieve people of their hard earned cash they have built through working hard and saving hard as well.
You must learn which are good investments and which are bad investments which are to be avoided. You must learn to manage your money yourself instead of entrusting it to someone else. Be aware of impulse buying remember some of the savviest people are also the most frugal and very careful who they entrust their money to.
When thinking of creating wealth, it should not be a numerical goal, but rather a secure financial goal that will ultimately allow you the freedom to live the lifestyle you desire and make your life become more stress free.
Wouldn't it be great to never have to worry about money again, to know that your efforts have produced enough income to cover any unseen emergencies, to have holidays whenever you wanted, and to be financially save safe in your retirement, this is what we all strive for both if we are employed or if we are self employed.
However even if we are fortunate to be able to create wealth during our lifetime we do not necessarily have the knowledge to be able to keep it. There are many scams on the Internet that promise to create wealth and make you millions, when they are just that - scams to relieve people of their hard earned cash they have built through working hard and saving hard as well.
You must learn which are good investments and which are bad investments which are to be avoided. You must learn to manage your money yourself instead of entrusting it to someone else. Be aware of impulse buying remember some of the savviest people are also the most frugal and very careful who they entrust their money to.
When thinking of creating wealth, it should not be a numerical goal, but rather a secure financial goal that will ultimately allow you the freedom to live the lifestyle you desire and make your life become more stress free.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Stress Management
If you want to significantly lessen stress then you will find it easier to do so if you find the right fun pastimes to assist you to get your mind off the predicament that's troubling you. Even if having fun does not eliminate the cause of the problem totally, distracting your mind from it for a brief period of time will calm you down and help you recover your self-control before facing the problem again.
Allow Your Mind to Have Some Fun:
You need to redirect stress into something more constructive and fun. Find games that require your mind to think. One game that needs a lot of thinking to win is Chess. Chess is an excellent way to prevent you from constantly worrying about the problem and to concentrate more on how to win your partner. Also try playing word or number games that allow your analytical mind to operate. Try games like scrabble, Sudoku, crossword, and similar things. These games will assist you to avert your mind from stress to assist you to attain a feeling of relaxation.
Participate in Sports:
A good stress management practice is to participate in sports. Most people would concur that a pleasant session of basketball or squash with your friends will assist you to relax. This will aid you to centre your mind into winning, particularly if you turn it into a contest. Think of this as a way out for your anger or frustration with work and focus it in a positive way instead of expressing it at work.
Combat Stress at the Gym:
If you want to direct all your stress to something beneficial and let go of it in one go then you may want to attempt managing it down at the gym. Stress influences you physically, mentally, and emotionally and so it would make sense to tackle these three parts in one go.
Remember you will need to direct your mind and energy to finishing the workout schedule. This way, you won't have time to think about your problems at work or at home; just concentrate on getting your body in shape for an improved you. A very important advantage of going to the gym is the strengthening of your heart from the consequences of stress. Heart attack and stroke are health disorders usually connected with stress. Good Luck!
Allow Your Mind to Have Some Fun:
You need to redirect stress into something more constructive and fun. Find games that require your mind to think. One game that needs a lot of thinking to win is Chess. Chess is an excellent way to prevent you from constantly worrying about the problem and to concentrate more on how to win your partner. Also try playing word or number games that allow your analytical mind to operate. Try games like scrabble, Sudoku, crossword, and similar things. These games will assist you to avert your mind from stress to assist you to attain a feeling of relaxation.
Participate in Sports:
A good stress management practice is to participate in sports. Most people would concur that a pleasant session of basketball or squash with your friends will assist you to relax. This will aid you to centre your mind into winning, particularly if you turn it into a contest. Think of this as a way out for your anger or frustration with work and focus it in a positive way instead of expressing it at work.
Combat Stress at the Gym:
If you want to direct all your stress to something beneficial and let go of it in one go then you may want to attempt managing it down at the gym. Stress influences you physically, mentally, and emotionally and so it would make sense to tackle these three parts in one go.
Remember you will need to direct your mind and energy to finishing the workout schedule. This way, you won't have time to think about your problems at work or at home; just concentrate on getting your body in shape for an improved you. A very important advantage of going to the gym is the strengthening of your heart from the consequences of stress. Heart attack and stroke are health disorders usually connected with stress. Good Luck!
What you need most- HOPE
I have two very awesome friends who are not always up to being positive these days.
Who could blame them? You listen to news, you read the articles, you hear the political trash being talked, and you know when you’re being lied to.
So do my friends.
One of them is a nurse, and she has decades of experience to offer, yet she is not a desirable prospect to doctors in private practice or any hospital. She’s been out of work for over a year now, and feels, in her own words, “like a bum.”
That’s guilt talking, the rhetoric and guilt trips layed on anyone taking entitlements or benefits from the government, whether it be unemployment or Social Security and Medicare. Idiots like Rush Limbaugh talk that kind of crap, and it never once worked on me. I know what a guilt trip is. Rush so unabashedly says things, and has for years now, like “You’ve got to pull yourself up by your own boot straps.”
He’s an idiot, all right.
My friend is not a bum. She is, in fact, a victim.
She’s a victim of the Bush Administration’s crash of 2008. The economy went south, you know it, I know it. But not all of us get to see what it’s done to people firsthand. My friend has been so close to being homeless along with her two children that she literally was shutting down in shock and serious bouts of depression. You don’t know what it’s like to have to worry about being homeless in New York City? You’re lucky, but she does have to worry.
Time after time she’s applied for work, and it is a myth that nurses will never be out of work; they’re trained with such valuable skills that they are indispensible. The truth is so far from that, it makes me sick. And it hasn’t stopped young women and men from taking nursing in college, either, and the job market is flooded with educated nurses younger and older.
But in these times, it is the younger ones, the ones with little or no experience, who get the jobs, since they, of course, will collect a considerably smaller paycheck. If an employer can fill a position cheaper with one person than with another, that’s what will go down. They’re even using excuses on my friend like, “Your credit is bad.”
Bad credit, my ass. You ever stayed unemployed a year and still had good credit?
If you said yes, you had help; my friend has none. Of course her credit is shot by now. But what the hell does credit have to do with getting hired?
So while they play with numbers in Washington, you see, there are real people out there, still suffering–it ain’t over yet.
And my friend… is one of them.
On the odd occasion when we speak, I do my best to be a shoulder, an ear, to let her vent, but at the end of the call, that’s all I’ve been. I cannot help her and it’s frustrating. It’s heartbreaking. Because when we lose hope, we’re almost finished. God never seemed so far away, and having faith, and praying for the help you need, for the miracle you need, is too much effort and seems futile anyway.
My other friend is one of the most awesome people I’ve ever known, and I’ve known her long enough to have been aware, even if I wasn’t around to see it, of some of the things she’s gone through since we lost contact a good while back. She honestly went through a hell on Earth, and people gave up on her. Like she needed them anyway.
Point is, she really went close to the bottom, and to be honest, I never even thought I would see her again.
My God did she ever stage a comeback, and it was one worthy of any movie. This is the type of rebound that, in an actual movie, would give you goosebumps and make you cry. She’s got a faith in God that was partly responsible, but the rest was all her, just guts and raw strength of will. I could not be more happy for her, or more proud, but of course, that doesn’t mean everything is perfect, because we all know that’s not in the cards for any of us.
This amazing woman gets so depressed that it shows despite her trying hard not let it be seen. So I’m going to mention here that, as a friend, she was always so fun to be around, and always made me laugh, and that she is a wonderful mother. That part cannot be understated; any woman can be a mother, and almost any woman can be ”Mom.” But she is a Mommy too, and her young son proves it by being absolutely full of life and happiness and wide-eyed wonder at all he sees. I once spent a few glorious minutes with him watching airplanes on approach to the airport, and each one got an excited response as he watched until it vanished behind the tree line. No child who acts like that has “just a mother.” He has a bona-fide mommy. She’s allowed him to live and breathe, and hasn’t snuffed out his innocence nor started him on the path to cynicism, which a lot of parents seem to think is their first duty in child raising.
I wonder today if these two awesome women, my friends, know how much they have contributed to others, one by always being a giver, a worker of light, and a healer as well as a fantastic friend and mother, and one by staging an absolutely stunning comeback on a long journey towards God and the real purpose for her being alive.
I wonder too, if either of them know, if they have any idea, how inspirational they have been to me, and, I’m certain, many others.
My own turning point came after my third suicide attempt failed and landed me in an ER on a respirator. My daughter got a phone call she swears she doesn’t remember, saying that I was on life support and unable to make any decisions.
She may not have remembered, but I did, and I swore she would never get another call like that again. This time a doctor said, “I want you to go to Springfield this time because if you try it again, you will kill yourself.”
So I went. There was a strip search in front of a male nurse before I was allowed to go to my new bed, and the guy was sharp, he knew his business. He looked me in the eyes and said, “I can tell you’re going to make it. I can see it in your eyes; you’re tired of the bullshit.”
And he was right. I was.
But it has not been easy, and at times I’ve suffered torment and pain and thought again about just pitching it all in.
John Wayne once said that “courage is being scared to death to do something but saddling up anyway.”
That’s exactly what my two friends prove to me and, in so doing, inspire me. One day at a time, because any more than that is too much, they keep on going. Our missions in our lives may be different, but we all have the same thing, the thing we all need:
Hope.
Hope that the reason we’re here won’t be forgotten, hope that we will make a difference, hope that life won’t always be so hard, and days may come where we’re even happy. We know we cannot have happiness all the time, but it won’t stop us from looking forward to the times we can.
And we have hope that we will be loved, and that people will value our friendship, and we won’t be alone. Because we know that when all hope is gone, there is no reason to carry on. That’s when we just give up. None of us are ever going to give up again.
What the world needs most?
You got it: Hope. We’re all fine when we have it, and when it fades on us, we get on shaky ground very fast. If we don’t watch it, the World’s problems add to our own and create a burden we can never in a million years shoulder. So the economy is rotten, and we get lied to about it. The wars are killing people every day. Terrorism is a constant threat, illness can come upon us at any time, and some of us live with illness every day, knowing that full recovery may not be possible.
So what? We all need hope that those things can end or be overcome, and once it’s ours, we have to hold it fast and never let it go.
I have a third friend. This one’s a man, a very good man, who tasks me to discuss things he feels strongly about, which is a rare gift. Enemies love to do that, but not in a constructive way. This friend hopes to be a good influence on me, and yet he already was. His own comeback story is also amazing, having enlisted in the Air Force, becoming a captain, and finally falling to a foe worse than people give it credit for: Mental illness. In fact, the same diagnosis as myself. He lost everything, his career, his wife… just like me.
He came back, fighting like hell to live, to once again make a difference in the world. He got married again to a wonderful, amazing woman who steadfastly refuses to let his illness be an excuse to turn away from him or to allow him to turn away from her, because he’s tried that, telling her he knows she suffers with his bouts. Truer love cannot exist. They are a team, partners, and he is making it today, living and contributing his talents and earning a living. Don’t even think that he never thought of giving up and taking the easy way out. Of course he did. So has the first friend I told you about in this post, as I’m sure my other friend must have done also.
Humans are scrappers, and giving up is honestly a last resort, so know that things may be bad, but you will always have another way. Be like my friends, keep what we all need close to you, for without hope, we are impotent against the World.
I pray you’ll take to heart what my friends’ stories show. I hope you will never give it up, and that no matter what is hurting or frightening you, that you don’t forget that we’re all in this together, and perhaps not putting so much effort into fighting, we should learn to love and lean on each other, and when someone makes a dramatic comeback, I hope you’ll remember that anyone can do it, even you.
Who could blame them? You listen to news, you read the articles, you hear the political trash being talked, and you know when you’re being lied to.
So do my friends.
One of them is a nurse, and she has decades of experience to offer, yet she is not a desirable prospect to doctors in private practice or any hospital. She’s been out of work for over a year now, and feels, in her own words, “like a bum.”
That’s guilt talking, the rhetoric and guilt trips layed on anyone taking entitlements or benefits from the government, whether it be unemployment or Social Security and Medicare. Idiots like Rush Limbaugh talk that kind of crap, and it never once worked on me. I know what a guilt trip is. Rush so unabashedly says things, and has for years now, like “You’ve got to pull yourself up by your own boot straps.”
He’s an idiot, all right.
My friend is not a bum. She is, in fact, a victim.
She’s a victim of the Bush Administration’s crash of 2008. The economy went south, you know it, I know it. But not all of us get to see what it’s done to people firsthand. My friend has been so close to being homeless along with her two children that she literally was shutting down in shock and serious bouts of depression. You don’t know what it’s like to have to worry about being homeless in New York City? You’re lucky, but she does have to worry.
Time after time she’s applied for work, and it is a myth that nurses will never be out of work; they’re trained with such valuable skills that they are indispensible. The truth is so far from that, it makes me sick. And it hasn’t stopped young women and men from taking nursing in college, either, and the job market is flooded with educated nurses younger and older.
But in these times, it is the younger ones, the ones with little or no experience, who get the jobs, since they, of course, will collect a considerably smaller paycheck. If an employer can fill a position cheaper with one person than with another, that’s what will go down. They’re even using excuses on my friend like, “Your credit is bad.”
Bad credit, my ass. You ever stayed unemployed a year and still had good credit?
If you said yes, you had help; my friend has none. Of course her credit is shot by now. But what the hell does credit have to do with getting hired?
So while they play with numbers in Washington, you see, there are real people out there, still suffering–it ain’t over yet.
And my friend… is one of them.
On the odd occasion when we speak, I do my best to be a shoulder, an ear, to let her vent, but at the end of the call, that’s all I’ve been. I cannot help her and it’s frustrating. It’s heartbreaking. Because when we lose hope, we’re almost finished. God never seemed so far away, and having faith, and praying for the help you need, for the miracle you need, is too much effort and seems futile anyway.
My other friend is one of the most awesome people I’ve ever known, and I’ve known her long enough to have been aware, even if I wasn’t around to see it, of some of the things she’s gone through since we lost contact a good while back. She honestly went through a hell on Earth, and people gave up on her. Like she needed them anyway.
Point is, she really went close to the bottom, and to be honest, I never even thought I would see her again.
My God did she ever stage a comeback, and it was one worthy of any movie. This is the type of rebound that, in an actual movie, would give you goosebumps and make you cry. She’s got a faith in God that was partly responsible, but the rest was all her, just guts and raw strength of will. I could not be more happy for her, or more proud, but of course, that doesn’t mean everything is perfect, because we all know that’s not in the cards for any of us.
This amazing woman gets so depressed that it shows despite her trying hard not let it be seen. So I’m going to mention here that, as a friend, she was always so fun to be around, and always made me laugh, and that she is a wonderful mother. That part cannot be understated; any woman can be a mother, and almost any woman can be ”Mom.” But she is a Mommy too, and her young son proves it by being absolutely full of life and happiness and wide-eyed wonder at all he sees. I once spent a few glorious minutes with him watching airplanes on approach to the airport, and each one got an excited response as he watched until it vanished behind the tree line. No child who acts like that has “just a mother.” He has a bona-fide mommy. She’s allowed him to live and breathe, and hasn’t snuffed out his innocence nor started him on the path to cynicism, which a lot of parents seem to think is their first duty in child raising.
I wonder today if these two awesome women, my friends, know how much they have contributed to others, one by always being a giver, a worker of light, and a healer as well as a fantastic friend and mother, and one by staging an absolutely stunning comeback on a long journey towards God and the real purpose for her being alive.
I wonder too, if either of them know, if they have any idea, how inspirational they have been to me, and, I’m certain, many others.
My own turning point came after my third suicide attempt failed and landed me in an ER on a respirator. My daughter got a phone call she swears she doesn’t remember, saying that I was on life support and unable to make any decisions.
She may not have remembered, but I did, and I swore she would never get another call like that again. This time a doctor said, “I want you to go to Springfield this time because if you try it again, you will kill yourself.”
So I went. There was a strip search in front of a male nurse before I was allowed to go to my new bed, and the guy was sharp, he knew his business. He looked me in the eyes and said, “I can tell you’re going to make it. I can see it in your eyes; you’re tired of the bullshit.”
And he was right. I was.
But it has not been easy, and at times I’ve suffered torment and pain and thought again about just pitching it all in.
John Wayne once said that “courage is being scared to death to do something but saddling up anyway.”
That’s exactly what my two friends prove to me and, in so doing, inspire me. One day at a time, because any more than that is too much, they keep on going. Our missions in our lives may be different, but we all have the same thing, the thing we all need:
Hope.
Hope that the reason we’re here won’t be forgotten, hope that we will make a difference, hope that life won’t always be so hard, and days may come where we’re even happy. We know we cannot have happiness all the time, but it won’t stop us from looking forward to the times we can.
And we have hope that we will be loved, and that people will value our friendship, and we won’t be alone. Because we know that when all hope is gone, there is no reason to carry on. That’s when we just give up. None of us are ever going to give up again.
What the world needs most?
You got it: Hope. We’re all fine when we have it, and when it fades on us, we get on shaky ground very fast. If we don’t watch it, the World’s problems add to our own and create a burden we can never in a million years shoulder. So the economy is rotten, and we get lied to about it. The wars are killing people every day. Terrorism is a constant threat, illness can come upon us at any time, and some of us live with illness every day, knowing that full recovery may not be possible.
So what? We all need hope that those things can end or be overcome, and once it’s ours, we have to hold it fast and never let it go.
I have a third friend. This one’s a man, a very good man, who tasks me to discuss things he feels strongly about, which is a rare gift. Enemies love to do that, but not in a constructive way. This friend hopes to be a good influence on me, and yet he already was. His own comeback story is also amazing, having enlisted in the Air Force, becoming a captain, and finally falling to a foe worse than people give it credit for: Mental illness. In fact, the same diagnosis as myself. He lost everything, his career, his wife… just like me.
He came back, fighting like hell to live, to once again make a difference in the world. He got married again to a wonderful, amazing woman who steadfastly refuses to let his illness be an excuse to turn away from him or to allow him to turn away from her, because he’s tried that, telling her he knows she suffers with his bouts. Truer love cannot exist. They are a team, partners, and he is making it today, living and contributing his talents and earning a living. Don’t even think that he never thought of giving up and taking the easy way out. Of course he did. So has the first friend I told you about in this post, as I’m sure my other friend must have done also.
Humans are scrappers, and giving up is honestly a last resort, so know that things may be bad, but you will always have another way. Be like my friends, keep what we all need close to you, for without hope, we are impotent against the World.
I pray you’ll take to heart what my friends’ stories show. I hope you will never give it up, and that no matter what is hurting or frightening you, that you don’t forget that we’re all in this together, and perhaps not putting so much effort into fighting, we should learn to love and lean on each other, and when someone makes a dramatic comeback, I hope you’ll remember that anyone can do it, even you.
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